Losing a Loved One to Bipolar Depression
It was way back in 1996 that I realized some changes in my husband. He at all wasn’t a smoker, but one evening after work he came with a pack of cigarettes. I tried talking to him about it, but he just ignored me. I didn’t know what was happening. That was the start to a very traumatizing journey.
Within the next few weeks, he would come home late and whenever I tried to question him, he became repulsive. He mostly chose to ignore me and preferred being silent. Sometimes he would get mad and irritable at ‘nothing’ done wrong and would complain about almost anything. Most of the nights he would prefer reading a book or magazine than resting. He barely slept for even for hours. I didn’t know what was happening to him. I thought that he wanted me out: I felt that he wanted a divorce.
After about six weeks of all this, I decided that we separate. The evening broke the news to him he became so sad that he started sobbing. I felt so guilty. By that time, our twin girls weren’t even 2 years old. He sobbed for about an hour and couldn’t talk to me. That was the day I got this feeling that he was experiencing something terribly but couldn’t talk about it.
Depressed People Need Care and Support from Loved Ones
The following day, I called his brother to come over for a talk. All along I didn’t think that my husband could have been suffering from a bipolar condition. and social phobia. It all dawned on us after we decided to take him to see a psychiatrist. He never objected about it. It was during mental evaluation and questionnaires answered that I realized how he had changed and all along I had failed to capture these changes.
This revelation was a shock to me and made me feel even guiltier of thinking about a divorce. I decided to stand by him and support him. For the next coming months, we were in and out of hospital for evaluation and psychiatry therapy. He was responding well and acted all normal although at times, he would have the usual mood swings.
Then one evening, he came home from work, and announced the sad news; he had decided to quit work for politics. I didn’t know what was happening to him because he had been well for quite sometimes. The thoughts of joining politics made me feel that things were going awry. He refused to let us talk about it.
Always look for any Symptoms of Depression to be Able to Help a Loved One
I called his brother who came the following day in the afternoon. That day, my husband chose not to report to work. He refused to see his brother and instead locked himself in the room. However, that evening after his brother and left, he was open to me and told me that he needed to see his doctor. I called to schedule an appointment for that the following day.
We went together and the psychiatrist was concerned that my husband could be suffering from depression. He was given some medication to cool him and we left for home. Upon reaching home, I left him asleep in the afternoon as I left to shop for some groceries and pick the children from a day care institution.
While driving home, I got a distress call that I was needed at home. Traffic was high and it took me about 30 minutes to arrive home only to meet a group of people and some police officers. My husband had committed suicide. He left a note behind detailing that nobody could help him and the best thing was to leave us in peace. I’m yet to come into terms with all that.